FROBlog is taking a short nap, and will be back in commission as soon as it wakes up in early December.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Busted Ts Ad
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Versatility My Ass
In going along with my theme from yesterday, here's another post full of positivity and optimism for all you law school grads out there.
http://thepeoplestherapist.com/2010/11/03/extremely-versatile-crockery
http://thepeoplestherapist.com/2010/11/03/extremely-versatile-crockery
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Painful Laughter
If you were a law student...YOU. MUST. WATCH. THIS.
This is the DEFINITION of "funny...because it's true."
And then we can all have a nice group cry session. Because it's true.
(Alternatively, if you are CURRENTLY a law student, you might want to hold off. You know...just to preserve that little dying glint of hope you still have tucked away deep down in your soul).
This is the DEFINITION of "funny...because it's true."
And then we can all have a nice group cry session. Because it's true.
(Alternatively, if you are CURRENTLY a law student, you might want to hold off. You know...just to preserve that little dying glint of hope you still have tucked away deep down in your soul).
Monday, November 1, 2010
A Monday Poem
Monday
Not Sunday
No Funday
Olivia Munnday
The cruel light peaks in through the pitiless window
My dreams dashed like hyphens.
The knowledge of impending desk jockeying begins to
Gnaw at my cerebrum.
A debacle of hemispheric proportions.
Yawn! Stretch! Flump.
Sigh...
Bedhead is my afterglow.
Not Sunday
No Funday
Olivia Munnday
The cruel light peaks in through the pitiless window
My dreams dashed like hyphens.
The knowledge of impending desk jockeying begins to
Gnaw at my cerebrum.
A debacle of hemispheric proportions.
Yawn! Stretch! Flump.
Sigh...
Bedhead is my afterglow.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Rally To Restore...FRUSTRATION??
The Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear took place this past Saturday on that National Mall, and things couldn't have run any smoother. Except for anyone who braved the metro system attempting to get downtown, that is. It took my small group of rally-goers 3 LONG HOURS to get from Silver Spring, MD to the Judiciary Square metro stop (ordinarily a 30 min trip, door to door) and, upon arriving at rally central, could barely move or hear/see anything. After spending about 30 minutes maneuvering through a sea of hippies and hipsters, we finally made it to a spot on Madison Drive where we could see bits of the main stage. We stood there for about 30 minutes, listening to garbled audio and watching two drunken MORONS try to climb a tree--first with shoes on, then with shoes off, THEN with shoes on again...because the SHOES were the problem.... As entertaining as the idiocy was, we decided it was in our best interests to get on the metro ahead of the masses and retreated to Judiciary Square, only to spend the 40 minute ride home sandwiched in between lots...and LOTS...of sweaty flesh.
That said, the rally was truly a tremendous success. A crowd of over 200 thousand gathered to hear Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert schtick it up along with numerous speakers and musical guests. The message of reasonableness was spread like buttah and, for just a few hours, DC seemed to be free of partisan bickery and political shenanigannery...and united in song, speech, and smiles. And, of course, sweaty flesh.
FROBlog's Chief Rally Correspondent, JFro, documented his journey there and back again:
That said, the rally was truly a tremendous success. A crowd of over 200 thousand gathered to hear Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert schtick it up along with numerous speakers and musical guests. The message of reasonableness was spread like buttah and, for just a few hours, DC seemed to be free of partisan bickery and political shenanigannery...and united in song, speech, and smiles. And, of course, sweaty flesh.
FROBlog's Chief Rally Correspondent, JFro, documented his journey there and back again:
Friday, October 29, 2010
For All Your Last Minute Rally Needs
The time is upon us, folks. Rally Day is tomorrow and it is bound to be a rally unlike any other! (Seriously. No other rally has ever been named "Rally To Restore Sanity And/Or Fear. Fact.). Be there or be square. And if you choose "square," you're in for some serious post-rally guilt action, courtesy of THIS GUY (I'm pointing at myself with my thumbs).
Click HERE for last-minute RTRSAOF info!
Click HERE for last-minute RTRSAOF info!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Only Minor Smirks Allowed...No Smiling
Yesterday, the Washington City Paper sent a memo to its staff outlining the behavior they are and aren't allowed to exhibit if attending Saturday's Rally To Restore Sanity. In light of these obviously necessary restrictions, the FROBlog editorial staff thought it best to act similarly. To that end, allow me to present the:
Rally Rules for FROBlog Employees
1) No laughing.
2) No smiling.
3) Smirking is allowed, but the smirk must be no more than a slight curvature of the lips, the corners of the mouth not to exceed 3 MILLIMETERS over the top of the bottom lip.
4) Coughing is allowed, but only during pauses in the featured speaker's speech. Coughing while the speaker is speaking could be construed as taking sides which is expressly prohibited and cause for immediate termination.
5) Standing is allowed for intervals of 5 minutes at a time and must be immediately followed by sitting for an equivalent period of time to even out the signal being conveyed (i.e. Standing = Agreeing = You're a hippy liberal progressive socialist commie tree-hugging patchouli stick. And, btw, Glenn Beck has a hit out on you.).
6) No clapping. Hands or feet.
7) No cheering. Or jeering. OR sneering.
8) No heavy breathing. 15 breaths per minute, minimum (exemptions: asthmatics and those with portable oxygen tanks. Must possess a doctor's note. From a doctor with no prior political affiliation.).
9) Side comments to friends must be made out of public view. Side comments to co-workers may be made in public view but eye contact is strictly prohibited.
10) Itching of the nose or face is cause for drawing and quartering. And possibly slappin' yo mama.
Rally Rules for FROBlog Employees
1) No laughing.
2) No smiling.
3) Smirking is allowed, but the smirk must be no more than a slight curvature of the lips, the corners of the mouth not to exceed 3 MILLIMETERS over the top of the bottom lip.
4) Coughing is allowed, but only during pauses in the featured speaker's speech. Coughing while the speaker is speaking could be construed as taking sides which is expressly prohibited and cause for immediate termination.
5) Standing is allowed for intervals of 5 minutes at a time and must be immediately followed by sitting for an equivalent period of time to even out the signal being conveyed (i.e. Standing = Agreeing = You're a hippy liberal progressive socialist commie tree-hugging patchouli stick. And, btw, Glenn Beck has a hit out on you.).
6) No clapping. Hands or feet.
7) No cheering. Or jeering. OR sneering.
8) No heavy breathing. 15 breaths per minute, minimum (exemptions: asthmatics and those with portable oxygen tanks. Must possess a doctor's note. From a doctor with no prior political affiliation.).
9) Side comments to friends must be made out of public view. Side comments to co-workers may be made in public view but eye contact is strictly prohibited.
10) Itching of the nose or face is cause for drawing and quartering. And possibly slappin' yo mama.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Chuck E. Lamesauce
I recently attended a 4-year-old's birthday party at the place where a kid can be a kid. You remember it fondly, I know...the games, the flashing lights, the tickets, the prizes. And, of course, the ball pit! You went and played some games and then, when it was time for pizza, soda, and birthday cake (the cornerstone of every kid's mid-afternoon meal), you went into the "theatre" and watched the entertaining albeit somewhat disturbing animatronic puppet show featuring Charles himself and the rest of the Cheese gang. It was truly the best thing ever. EVER.
So it is understandable that my expectations (and, perhaps, hopes and dreams) were dashed when I went to this birthday party and found, to my surprise, dismay, and disbelief that the Chuck E. Cheese I came to know and love through my formative years had changed almost beyond recognition. Where there used to be a glittering row of skee ball machines, there was now a giant seating area for executing simultaneous birthday celebrations full of crazed ankle-biters set on running themselves into a state of extreme exhaustion until the pizza arrived. Where there used to be a collection of level-based arcade games requiring a hint of skill and a touch of thought there was simply a bigger space for seizure-inducing "games of skill," spitting out tickets at any kid willing to donate a token or two...thousand (not to mention, I didn't see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade Game ANYWHERE. For shame, C.E.C...for shame.). There was no theatre. There was no animatronic show. There was **GASP!!!** NO BALL PIT!!!!
Even the pizza was different (and, yes, I am able to state that, confidently, after not having eaten it since my pre-pubescent years). And, while all the little ones seemed to be having a great time running around like happy-go-lucky untamed sprites, I couldn't help but shed an invisible tear at fact that the kids of today will never experience the Chuck E. Cheese of yore. Well, at least at the Gaithersburg, MD location.
Lame sauce, Good Sir Cheese...lame sauce.
So it is understandable that my expectations (and, perhaps, hopes and dreams) were dashed when I went to this birthday party and found, to my surprise, dismay, and disbelief that the Chuck E. Cheese I came to know and love through my formative years had changed almost beyond recognition. Where there used to be a glittering row of skee ball machines, there was now a giant seating area for executing simultaneous birthday celebrations full of crazed ankle-biters set on running themselves into a state of extreme exhaustion until the pizza arrived. Where there used to be a collection of level-based arcade games requiring a hint of skill and a touch of thought there was simply a bigger space for seizure-inducing "games of skill," spitting out tickets at any kid willing to donate a token or two...thousand (not to mention, I didn't see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Arcade Game ANYWHERE. For shame, C.E.C...for shame.). There was no theatre. There was no animatronic show. There was **GASP!!!** NO BALL PIT!!!!
Even the pizza was different (and, yes, I am able to state that, confidently, after not having eaten it since my pre-pubescent years). And, while all the little ones seemed to be having a great time running around like happy-go-lucky untamed sprites, I couldn't help but shed an invisible tear at fact that the kids of today will never experience the Chuck E. Cheese of yore. Well, at least at the Gaithersburg, MD location.
Lame sauce, Good Sir Cheese...lame sauce.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Bow Chicka Wow Wow
 | |
| Photo by Stacie Joy via Gothamist |
Ok, I guess the priest uniform is a Halloween costume, so Rabbi garb might as well be similarly acceptable. But, first off, there really is no official Rabbi-wear (I guess if you got the dog to perform a marriage and teach some Talmud?...). And, secondly, you'd think for such activities as a doggie costume parade you'd want to do something a little more...exciting? Like, maybe, Chanukah Doggie! You could somehow fashion a menorah with sparklers as candles that could be attached to its back? Too dangerous? How about dressing it up like a Maccabee with a real sword and armor! ...alright, having a little trouble getting away from the whole dangerous thing...Perhaps Rosh Hashanah Doggie, with a plate of apples & honey on his head?? (ok, I think we can both agree that's a probable fail). No, wait, wait...I got it...
Don't mean to be a hater...but, c'mon, let's kick it up a notch or two, shall we? L'chaim.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Don't Ask Don't Tell Watch--Day 9
FROBlog has been closely monitoring Don't Ask Don't Tell these past few weeks, hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive flip-flopping policy as it pokes its head in and out of implementation. Before today, the last we saw of it was on October 12, 2010 when Federal Judge Virginia Phillips was seen applying the sleeper hold on DADT in a back alley behind the courthouse. However, just today we received word that DADT was escorted back into the Pentagon with President Obama and a Ninth Circuit Appellate Judge under each arm! We tried to get a statement from DADT, but the beleaguered policy simply shrugged its shoulders in confusion, muttering something that sounded like, "I feel like a ping pong ball..."
In related news, the President and Judge Phillips will attempt to settle their differences over whether DADT should be dealt with in court or Congress via an all-out thumb war in a tented arena on the White House Ellipse. Rumored attendees include the Salahis (though they have not been formally invited) and any lingering, post-match Constitutional questions will be fielded by Christine O'Donnell.
More to come as FROBlog continues its....um...continuing coverage of Don't Ask Don't Tell Watch 2010!
In related news, the President and Judge Phillips will attempt to settle their differences over whether DADT should be dealt with in court or Congress via an all-out thumb war in a tented arena on the White House Ellipse. Rumored attendees include the Salahis (though they have not been formally invited) and any lingering, post-match Constitutional questions will be fielded by Christine O'Donnell.
More to come as FROBlog continues its....um...continuing coverage of Don't Ask Don't Tell Watch 2010!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Haikubicles
I sit now and stare
The grey walls surrounding me
No escape from here
Click Click Click Click Click
All I type is all I see
Digital landscape
In a box all day
Lunch is freedom none too soon
Fleeting food recess
The watch hand moves slow
Swaying fro like wind blown reeds
Reaching for the five
The grey walls surrounding me
No escape from here
Click Click Click Click Click
All I type is all I see
Digital landscape
In a box all day
Lunch is freedom none too soon
Fleeting food recess
The watch hand moves slow
Swaying fro like wind blown reeds
Reaching for the five
Monday, October 18, 2010
One Kiwi to Rule Them All
***WARNING: This post is gearing up to be extremely dorky. Prepare accordingly!***
In a move that caused Lord of the Rings fans everywhere to sound their horns of Gondor, it was announced on October 15, 2010 that Peter Jackson would be DIRECTING both upcoming Hobbit films in addition to his roles writing and producing! Guillermo del Toro was previously slated to direct the prequel before unexpected delays caused him to pull out of the project prematurely (that's what she said), though he will still be involved in the screenwriting (guess the burden was too much to bear, huh, Guillermo? C'mon, if Frodo can climb the jagged cliffs of Mount Doom with the One Ring 'round his neck, I'm pretty sure you can learn to multitask! But, hey, I ain't complainin'...).
This announcement comes amidst a great hub bub (alternatively, it could be a rukus, ado, or, perhaps, perturbation) involving various actors' unions advising their members not to partake in Jackson's films until fair working conditions are guaranteed for actors with minor roles. Jackson responded that he was not, in fact, anti-union, and then proceeded to call in a legion of his fighting Uruk-hai to viciously disembowel any remaining protesters. Again, LOTR fans cheered.
The Wife and I are avid LOTR fans. Ok, maybe "avid" doesn't quite cut it. We're straight up fiends. We LOVE us some Rings. We have seen the movies way too many times and can quote practically every line from "the world is changed" all the way to "I'm back." We randomly break out in Gollum voices while doing the dishes (that might be more "me" and not "we"...). We have matching "Team Samwise" tattoos (ok...maaaybe not). In fact, every year, we have a LOTR tradition that involves an entire day of....ok, you know what, I'll save that for another post. After all, wouldn't want to exhaust ALL my dorkdom in this post alone...
In a move that caused Lord of the Rings fans everywhere to sound their horns of Gondor, it was announced on October 15, 2010 that Peter Jackson would be DIRECTING both upcoming Hobbit films in addition to his roles writing and producing! Guillermo del Toro was previously slated to direct the prequel before unexpected delays caused him to pull out of the project prematurely (that's what she said), though he will still be involved in the screenwriting (guess the burden was too much to bear, huh, Guillermo? C'mon, if Frodo can climb the jagged cliffs of Mount Doom with the One Ring 'round his neck, I'm pretty sure you can learn to multitask! But, hey, I ain't complainin'...).
 |
| HAPPY PJ Photo by Natasha Baucas via Creative Commons |
The Wife and I are avid LOTR fans. Ok, maybe "avid" doesn't quite cut it. We're straight up fiends. We LOVE us some Rings. We have seen the movies way too many times and can quote practically every line from "the world is changed" all the way to "I'm back." We randomly break out in Gollum voices while doing the dishes (that might be more "me" and not "we"...). We have matching "Team Samwise" tattoos (ok...maaaybe not). In fact, every year, we have a LOTR tradition that involves an entire day of....ok, you know what, I'll save that for another post. After all, wouldn't want to exhaust ALL my dorkdom in this post alone...
Friday, October 15, 2010
GIANT OPRAH HEAD INVADES DAILY SHOW!!!
The rallies, the rallies! THEY ARE ONE!!! Introducing:
In a double surprise appearance on the Daily Show, the always-truthy Steven Colbert and the always-benevolent Oprah Winfrey helped announce the new joint rally with some green screen effects, comical banter, and **GASP!** a special gift from Her Winfreyness.
The RALLY TO RESTORE SANITY
AND/OR FEAR!!!
In a double surprise appearance on the Daily Show, the always-truthy Steven Colbert and the always-benevolent Oprah Winfrey helped announce the new joint rally with some green screen effects, comical banter, and **GASP!** a special gift from Her Winfreyness.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear Announcement | ||||
| ||||
You tell 'em, Arianna!
Arianna Huffington née HOLYCRAPTHATSALONGGREEKMAIDENNAME spoke out against Big Media today on her blog, Huffington Post, in response to various media outlets prohibiting their employees from attending Jon Stewart's upcoming Rally To Restore Sanity (and, assumedly, Steven Colbert's March de la Fear). Yes, that's right..."PROHIBITING." Generally, the mass media position is that the event will be perceived as "political" and, therefore, the media should not be involved as they might be construed as supporting the cause.
 | ||
| The Huffster Photo by Minesweeper via Creative Commons |
Did I miss the memo informing the mass media they should abstain from covering political events? Isn't that...like...uhh...WHAT the media does??? (like, totally, for real?) (totally.) I'm failing to see how an objective news agency (as so many claim to be) can't report, objectively, on an event such as this one, political or not.
I mean, the rally is...completely political. No bones about it. Yes, it's being put on by a comedic "fake news" entity. But the purpose of the whole thing is to inform our elected representatives of how the attendees feel about the current state of political craziness in this country and raise everyone's collective consciousness-- voters and Congresspeople alike--as to where this country should be going (according to Jon Stewart, that is).
Soooo...SHOULDN'T this event be getting media coverage?? Whatever the message that's being delivered, I'm pretty confident that it's newsworthy (as long as the definition of newsworthy is still "stuff people could possibly want to know about." I say this with full knowledge that this umbrella term includes stories like the cat who raised a squirrel as her own and the juicy details of Lindsay Lohan's repeated rehab failures. Side note: rehab is for quitters. ZING!).
If I'm missing something, here, please bring me up to speed. I emplore you.
Read the original article HERE.
REMAIN CALM!! ALL IS WELL!!
Worry not, those of you who were fretting uncontrollably because I removed my Busted Ts hoplink. As you can see, it's back **long, relieved exhale** (can't find it? Well, you just created a fun little game for yourself, didn't you? It's called "Find the Busted Ts hoplink" and you're the only player. First prize: 5 seconds of lost life. Start when ready.).
Why do I have a Busted Ts hoplink, you ask? Great question, Wolf. I have this little doohickey on my site in the hope that, in your infinite boredom or quest to spend hard-earned money on mildly amusing summer apparel, you click on it and buy something, ultimately earning me a piddling commission and, thus, enabling me to pay off my school loans before I'm able to cash in my 401k without penalty. So, please, feel free to order away. Or, better yet, forward my blog on to everyone you know so THEY will buy tons of witty t-shirts with such sayings as "Reunite Pangaea" or "Vandelay Industries." Because you NEED another witty t-shirt...
(Side note: upon completing the word "doohickey" I was fully prepared to see that little colorful line pop up underneath indicating a misspelling. But, nay, that is EXACTLY how "doohickey" is spelled, apparently. Who knew?!)
To be honest, I'm not even sure that clicking on the link results in ANYTHING for me whatsoever. I have a sneaking suspicion that Busted Ts is benefiting from my free advertising and laughing all the way to the bank. If I find out that Busted Ts has mysteriously broken into the Forbes 100, my suspicions will be confirmed and I will be expecting a thank you note and a free t-shirt saying "I helped Busted Ts get into the Forbes 100 and all I got was this lousy, witty t-shirt. Damn."
But, seriously, really like this one: http://www.bustedtees.com/playerhater
And this one: http://www.bustedtees.com/blowme
If I click on my own link, will I cause a rift in the space-time continuum? Like crossing proton pack streams, Ghostbuster-style?? I will be looking into this.
Why do I have a Busted Ts hoplink, you ask? Great question, Wolf. I have this little doohickey on my site in the hope that, in your infinite boredom or quest to spend hard-earned money on mildly amusing summer apparel, you click on it and buy something, ultimately earning me a piddling commission and, thus, enabling me to pay off my school loans before I'm able to cash in my 401k without penalty. So, please, feel free to order away. Or, better yet, forward my blog on to everyone you know so THEY will buy tons of witty t-shirts with such sayings as "Reunite Pangaea" or "Vandelay Industries." Because you NEED another witty t-shirt...
(Side note: upon completing the word "doohickey" I was fully prepared to see that little colorful line pop up underneath indicating a misspelling. But, nay, that is EXACTLY how "doohickey" is spelled, apparently. Who knew?!)
To be honest, I'm not even sure that clicking on the link results in ANYTHING for me whatsoever. I have a sneaking suspicion that Busted Ts is benefiting from my free advertising and laughing all the way to the bank. If I find out that Busted Ts has mysteriously broken into the Forbes 100, my suspicions will be confirmed and I will be expecting a thank you note and a free t-shirt saying "I helped Busted Ts get into the Forbes 100 and all I got was this lousy, witty t-shirt. Damn."
But, seriously, really like this one: http://www.bustedtees.com/playerhater
And this one: http://www.bustedtees.com/blowme
If I click on my own link, will I cause a rift in the space-time continuum? Like crossing proton pack streams, Ghostbuster-style?? I will be looking into this.
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