Damn you, Royal Wedding!

Uch.  I was doing such a good job of NOT falling victim to the hype, pomp, frills, and general ridiculosity of this monarchical matrimonial mess.  Until this morning.  Over a bowl of Giant-brand raisin bran crunch I went to my iPhone, opened my CNN app (I swear this is not an advertisement), and watched as droves of wide-eyed wedding lackeys packed in like sardines in front of Buckingham Palace to await the "first kiss."  It was all very Beatlesmania and I really couldn't have cared less.

But my interest was peaked when the Bride and Groom emerged to greet their public and Kate--a newcomer to royal living-- was visibly taken back by the crowd at her doorstep.  It was only for a second, but her facial expression said it all.  And that got me thinking: Man, it must be absolutely NUTS to become part of the royal family.  Especially for a "commoner" like herself (and please don't get me started on the antiquated terms and practices of British society...I've got too much else to do today...).

Since I was a wee laddie I've always wanted to be in the celebrity limelight.  But the ROYAL limelight is different, methinks, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want any of it.  Not only are you, undoubtedly, hounded by paparazzi and under constant scrutiny by...well...everyone in your kingdom, but you also have to hold yourself to a very high standard of propriety.  All the time.  You can't go out to a dingy college party, do a few beer bongs and keg stands, puke in an alley while peeing on yourself, then have sex with a random before doing the walk-of-shame via 7-11 for some taquitos (I love Tuesdays).  You must be proper.  VERY proper.  AT ALL TIMES.  24/7/365.  And that just doesn't sound appealing to me--even with all the riches and fame and glory and personal drivers and yadda yadda yadda.  Not saying I'm trying to hit up Old Schoolesque keggers every weekend (*sigh*).  But in watching the newly-ordained Duchess of Cambridge stand above the masses in her lovely wedding gown, I couldn't help but wonder if she was truly prepared for a lifetime of rigid posture and polite smiles.

Or is that just being British, generally? (HEYO!!  Just kidding, my crumpeted brethren.)