Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY!!!

This has been one busy summer.  From spending endless hours pouring over brain-mushing Bar material, to being out of town for three weeks on a whirlwind European vacation (believe me, no one's complaining 'bout this one), to being altogether engulfed in the job hunting bubble, I've been feeling a little out-of-the-loop...especially as it pertains to sports.  The defining moment came about a week ago when I turned on the tv and saw our ol' coach, Big Jim Zorn himself, sporting...a RAVENS cap?!  WHAT???  When did this happen???  It was at that point I knew it was time to get back in the game, as it were.

Those who know me know that my knowledge base of sports-related statstica (arguably not a real word) is about as shallow as Heidi Montag reading a MAD Magazine in a kiddy pool (side note: whether this scenario is realistic or not is up for debate.  Considerations: Heidi Montag can no longer fit in a standard size kiddie pool with her two new inordinately huge chesticles.  Secondly, it involves her reading).  I consistently defer the role of Sports Conversation Facilitator to my good buddy Boobs who, if the sheer volume of sports trivia knowledge one possessed directly correlated to one's manliness, would resemble some sort of Adonis-like superhuman comprised of Chuck Norris' legs, Fabio's torso, and John Holmes'...well...you get the idea...

Conversational shortcomings aside, I am a die-hard, unwavering Redskins fan who begins EVERY season under the impression that they will be going to the Superbowl and routinely stack my fantasy team with their top players (typically a recipe for brutal defeat after brutal defeat, ultimate failure, and inevitable ridicule.  I do it every year without fail.).  I LOVE me some football and, accordingly, feel as though I owe it to myself to up my "stat savvy" this season.  Not quite sure how, just yet.  But I'm pretty sure it means more Sportscenter and paying closer attention to pregame show commentary, which is never a bad thing.  Ok, I take that back.  It's never a bad thing unless, like me, you are kinda weirded out by Cris Collinsworth's glazed-over permasmile.  Really...it's...it's just weird, right?  Kinda like he's always sitting there daydreaming about ever-so-slowly riding a horse through a sunny green field in middle America until Warren Sapp shifts in his seat and his PLANET OF A HEAD eclipses the studio lights, snapping Cris back into reality!   *pause* ...kinda like that?

So, all that being said, permit me to address a few issues surrounding yesterday's pigskin action:

**Donovan McNabb - as far as his performance, I think Jarrett Bell of USATODAY.com hit the nail on the head when he said McNabb wasn't spectacular...but he WON.  Nabby fired off a couple too many shoestring passes for my liking, but he got the job done and led the Hogs into the regular season with a big "W" against our favorite team to beat.  Kudos, my good sir, carry on.  And, yes, I will be calling you "Nabby" for the immediate time being, Nabby.

**Prince Albert - Ok, so you're a nose tackle...get over it.  Time to step up your game, there, Haynesworth, because you seemed a little sluggish out there against the Cowgirls.  And don't get me started on your missing practices.  If I were getting paid $100 million ...... sorry, I think I just swallowed my mandible.  Let me try that again.  If I were getting paid.......100 MILLION DOLLARS, I would not only make it my business to attend every practice smiling and without complaint, but I'd buy a new wardrobe that consisted solely of burgundy and gold jumpsuits, change my doorbell, ringtone, and car horn to "Hail to the Redskins," and send Dan Snyder weekly Edible Arrangements fruit baskets.  Of course, since they were being delivered to Dan Snyder I'd let them sit out in the sun a few days before sending them...

**E-A-G-L-E-S...EAGLES!  LOST!

**Tom Brady's hair looks like a poorly constructed Jennifer Aniston wig.  But, on the upside, at least now he and Giselle can buy conditioner in bulk, right?  Sam's Club, hoooooooooo!

And now, my lovelies, I must away.  Have a date with ESPN so I can learn me some knowledge.  Next time you see me, I'll be able to tell you exactly how many touchdowns the Red Wings scored in the last World Series!

I'd like to close with this:


Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!

Run or pass and score -- we want a lot more!
Beat 'em, Swamp 'em,
Touchdown! -- Let the points soar!
Fight on, fight on 'Til you have won
Sons of Wash-ing-ton. Rah!, Rah!, Rah!
Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Victory!
Braves on the Warpath!
Fight for old D.C.!