Mateys and Grog

What's a pirate's favorite sock pattern?
--ARRRRRRRrgyle!

Who is a pirate's favorite Thundercat?
--SnARRRRRff!

Where does a pirate go to sign up for his college courses?
--The registrARRRRRRR!

Where do you go if you're thirsty and don't mind risking getting stabbed/shot/romanced by a scruffy man in a bandanna?

...ASIDE from the area surrounding the Petworth Metro stop?...

The PIRATE BARRRR!!!

(actually named Piratz Tavern, but you can't "ARRR!" the word "Tavern."  Well....I guess you could ...hmmm...let's see..."TavARRRRRn!!"  Nope, definitely not as good).

As hard as it is to believe, Silver Spring, MD was once but a lowly town north of DC, devoid of any excitement or distinguishable character aside from its reputation as a less-than-affluent, forgettable passageway between the District and the Beltway.  But then, in 2006, The Pirate Bar landed on our shores and changed everything, instantly promoting SSpring's status to "Zack Morris Cool."  Like a 17th century T.G.I.Fridays, Piratz Tavern is decked out with all kinds of scallywag paraphernalia from the somewhat ominous front entrance to the island-motif patio out back.  The wait staff, naturally, are dressed head to toe as pirates (minimum 37 pieces of flair required).  Sometimes the GUESTS even come draped in pirate garb (truth be told, I've only seen one patron dressed up.  He was there both times I went.  Kinda questionable.  Honestly, I really wasn't sure if he worked there or not.  If he did, then must have been on a nice long break...unless his job title was "Assistant Manager of Booze Tasting and Women Ogling."  If he didn't work there, then he's just a regular guy...

...who frequently dresses up to go get a drink out on the town...

...in full pirate regalia...

...on a TUESDAY... 

...
........
.............
 ................yeah, this is just screaming "restraining order," isn't it?...)

They have a full menu...but c'mon, let's get serious here, me mateys.  Only a mutinous, parrot-loving, scurvy-infested swabbie cares about food when there's GROG to be had!  Get the LARGE (see picture on right of empty large grog...and The Wife growing a cigar out of her ear).  And then follow it up with 2 more.  You'll be singing like a drunken sailor and pillaging for booty in no time (that be what she said, arrrr).  For those of you with an outward pointing pinky, there are many tasty, colorful, sea dog-inspired libations to be had, as well (that's a "Black Strap Betty" under The Wife's ear cigar).

Last time we were there, we met Kevin (see picture on left, with The Wife growing a Kevin out of her ear).  Kevin is from Alabama.  Kevin is crazy.  Kevin is also THE MAN.  We met Kevin when he approached our table asking for a lighter, and it was love ever since.  He's lurking around the DC area these days, hiding out in random alleyways, ready to pounce and party.  If you happen to come across Kevin, please follow these instructions:
 
1) Approach slowly...introduce yourself.
2) Tell him that "JFro sent you."
3) Offer Kevin a beer (anything but Bud...let's be reasonable, now...)
4) Promptly return Kevin to Piratz Tavern.
5) Finally, offer Kevin another beer.  And a grog.  After all, he's had a hard day.

PIRATE BAR!!!!!!!!!  See you there, friends :)  GARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!