Ommmmm-m'lord....

Now that I'm doing yoga on a more consistent basis, I have had quite the case of "yoga on the brain"...various yoga-related thoughts throughout the day, random urges to get into downward dog, things of that nature.  My YOTB has recently manifested itself in an idea that I would like to make public here and now so, naturally, later in court, I can prove that I had the idea first.

I want to open a grilled cheese cart called Harness Your Cheese.

Artisan cheeses, quality bread selection, and calming music to soothe the soul during the midday rush.  C'mon...that's GOLD, Jerry...GOLD! 

Here's the "storefront" sign:

Benefactors welcome...namaste.

An Unexpected Poster

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SEARS Customer Service's Finest

Oh, this is just the PERFECT follow-up to my most recent post.  Here's my transcript with SEARS Customer Service (context: repair guy was scheduled to arrive b/w 8am-12pm.  Never happened.  This chat took place shortly after 6pm.  We had called 3 times previously and were assured we'd get call-backs each time.  Never happened.).

Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...
You have been connected to Arlan Parks.
Arlan Parks: Thank you for choosing Sears. My name is Arlan. How may I assist you?
Jason: We have been waiting since 8am for a service technician to come to our house and no one has come all day.
Arlan Parks: Hi Jason.
Jason: That is 10 hours of wasted time.
Arlan Parks: I am sorry for the inconvenience caused to you in this regard.
Arlan Parks: I will be happy to check and help you with the information about that.
Arlan Parks: In order to assist you better, may I have your phone number beginning with the area code along with your e-mail address please?
Jason: An entire day of work and pay.
Jason: ***-***-**** (phone number)
Arlan Parks: Thank you.
Jason: We are unbelievably disappointed in and insulted by Sears' lack of customer service and accountability.
Jason: Email is **************@gmail.com
Arlan Parks: I checked and see that the service for your refrigerator was scheduled on 04/23/2012 from 8:00 AM from 12:00 PM.
Jason: We have called numerous times throughout the day and were told we'd be called back periodically. We didn't receive ONE call.
Jason: That is correct.
Jason: But no one has come in the past 10 hours.
Arlan Parks: Jason, this does not at all excuse the fact that you had to wait. I am truly sorry for the lack of assistance that you have received.
Arlan Parks: Jason, I will go ahead and sent a message to the routing team and they will call you at the soonest.
Jason: That is what we have been told all day.
Arlan Parks: I will also go ahead and raise a complaint against this.
Arlan Parks: I request you to wait for the technician to wait for some more time and they will call you shortly and get the service done.
Jason: I would appreciate that...my time is just as valuable as anyone else's and it is a shame Sears does not recognize that.
Arlan Parks: We strive to provide our customers with prompt and accurate service in response to their individual situations. High-quality and accurate Customer Service is our foremost priority. We are working diligently to improve our internal systems and training programs.
Arlan Parks: Is there anything else with which I can help you today?
Jason: Well, to be honest, I'd like to know how I am to be compensated for the hours and hours I've spent needlessly waiting for a technician to arrive when I could have been working?
Arlan Parks: Jason, our routing team is in process to arrange the service for your refrigerator and I apology for the inconvenience caused to you so far.
Arlan Parks: I am happy to standby and wait for a few more moments.
Jason: That's good to hear...however, that should have happened between 8am and 12pm this morning. Now it's 6 hours later.
Arlan Parks: I can understand you concern, Jason.
Arlan Parks: Please wait for the technician to arrive and get the service done. 
Jason: Again, I appreciate that, Arlan.  However, I would like to know if SEARS does, in any way, respect the fact that I have wasted an entire workday--where I could have been earning money, mind you--waiting for a repairman to show without so much as a call-back from dispatch telling us when we should realistically expect anyone to arrive.

**at this point my response was cut off as Arlan, apparently, ended the chat abruptly**

Arlan Parks: Thank you for choosing Sears Chat. Have a pleasant evening.
Thank you for using InstantService. You may now close this window.
Your session has ended. You may now close this window.

I'd be more than happy to help you...

Ladies and gentlemen of the world, please tell me you're with me on this one...

Can we all come together in agreement that companies can stop instructing their phone-based customer support staff to give the obligatory "I'd be more than happy to help you with that today" response?  It's to the point where I don't just get irritated upon hearing it, but suffer a visceral response akin to that of someone flicking my ear.  If the "more than happy" statement really meant anything, I wouldn't be so opposed.  But, really...do I run the risk of saying something with which you [yup, now I'm talking to the customer service rep] will NOT be happy to help me?  Should I feel better after hearing confirmation of your eager willingness to help with my problem, although nothing in your tone indicates you could possibly give two shits about why I called?  The lack of concern is transparent...but that's O.K.  I get it.  We all do.  You don't want to be there.  We don't want to be calling you.  So can we just dispense with the pleasantries and have a semi-cordial conversation that saves both time and temperament and concludes with my problem being solved by you, the person meant to solve it???

Ommmmmmmmm....

Question: What is love?

Answer:
Oh baby, don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me...no more.